(I realize that in the age of the internet, this is very outdated, but, too bad)
The first joke you think of is pretty much never funny. Boom, roasted.
But sometimes you say it anyway. Boom, roasted.
You went to see Third Eye Blind, Eve 6, and the Goo Goo Dolls. Boom, roasted.
You like cutting your frozen pizza in sixths so you can shove it in your face faster. Boom, roasted.
Your short term memory is worse than that guy from Memento. Boom, roasted.
Your long term member also sucks. You can’t even remember the guy’s name in Memento, and it’s one of your favorite movies ever. Boom, roasted.
You keep collecting Coke Rewards points even though you can’t get anything good with them. Boom, roasted.